The Cockroach Theory

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and landed on a lady.  She started screaming out of fear.
With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.  The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but ...it landed on a man in the group. He began yelling. get this disgusting creature off me!  The waitress came over to see what the yelling was all about. At that moment the man flicked the cockroach off his shoulder, and it landed on the waitress.  The just stood there and looked at it, composed herself, and observed the cockroach. When she was confident enough, she grabbed it with her fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching with amusement, I began to wonder…was the cockroach responsible for their hysterical behavior?
If so, then why was the waitress not disturbed?  She handled it to near perfection, without any chaos or drama.
I began to see that It was not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach.

It made me realize that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my partner or children that disturbs me, but it's my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting. It was about me, not them. It's not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam. More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos and suffering in my life.