Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God said OK. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God said OK. On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.

Be Clear & Honest

Morris the dog was walking past a property one day and he was suddenly confronted by a large black dog who barked ferociously through the fence at him.

“What are you doing?’ asked Morris.

“I’m guarding this property.” responded the black dog.

“What are you barking at me for? asked Morris.

“Because you’re a threat. Everyone has the potential to break in and steal from me, so I’m not taking any risks and am barking at everyone.”

Morris shrugged his shoulders and walked away, thinking about how much energy the black dog was unnecessarily wasting.

The next day, he walked past the same property, but instead of being confronted by the vicious guard dog, he was met by a furry ball of fluff.

“What happened to the large black dog?” he asked.

“He annoyed his owners by barking all of the time, so they gave him away and replaced him with me.” replied the ball of fluff.

“You don’t look very scary.” observed Morris.

“I’m not. You never have to worry about me being too angry.”

“What would you do if someone tried to steal from you?” asked Morris.

“Why would anyone try to steal from me? I’m such a nice cute doggy that no-one would ever take advantage of me.”

Morris shrugged his shoulders and walked away, hoping that the little ball of fluff would be OK.

The next day he walked past the same property and was met by a large golden retriever.

“What happened to the little ball of fluff?” Morris asked.

“Some intruders came last night and all he did was roll over to have his belly scratched while the place was ransacked.” replied the retriever.

“So, what’s your strategy for guarding this place?” asked Morris.

“I’ve learned that not everyone’s a threat, so there’s no point in barking at everyone and keeping them at a distance, but I’ve also learned that being nice and polite won’t always cut it either as not everyone has my best interest at heart. Others will always know that I’m here, but I feel comfortable enough with myself that I don’t need to rant and rave to be heard or look after everyone else’s needs to be liked. I’ll just be calm and clear when communicating, decreasing the risk of being taken the wrong way.”

“I think I’ll be seeing a lot more of you,” said Morris, suitably impressed as he went on his way.

MORAL:  You don’t need to be an angry, rabid dog or a delightful ball of fluff to be successful in what you’re doing.  Instead, learn to express yourself with clarity, honesty and calmness.

Salt in The Lake

Once there was a young girl who was very unhappy with her life.  She felt depressed and anxious all the time.  She heard about a Zen master in the next town and decided to visit him to see if he could help her.  When she met him, she said, “I have so many problems in life. I am always sad.  Please give me a solution.  How can I be happy?  The master listened carefully, then got up and left.  After a few minutes he returned with a glass of water and a bowl of salt.  He asked the girl to take a handful of salt, put it in the water and drink it.  The girl was confused but did as she was instructed. The master then asked, “how does it taste?”  

“Terrible!” said the girl.  All I could taste was the salt.  

Now the master asked her to take a handful of salt and come with him.  They ended up at a nearby lake.  Now the master told her to put the salt in the lake.  So, the girl put the salt in the lake and swirled it around. The master said, “now drink the water from the lake.”  The girl drank the water from the lake.  The master said, how does it taste?  It tastes good said the girl.  Where you able to taste the salt in this water the master asked?  No, said the girl.  

The master took the girl’s hands and said, “the pain of life is pure salt. No more, no less.  The amount of pain in life remains the same, but the amount we taste, depends on the container we put it in.  

So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. See the big picture. Stop being a glass, Become a lake.   

What’s for Dinner?

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone, he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.

So, the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response.

Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again, he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again, there is no response.

So, he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“James, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!”

Moral: The problem may not be with the other person as we always think. It could be very much within us!